Discussion:I am being Neutered by a Fiber Bar

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Discussion Forum Index --> General Chat --> I am being Neutered by a Fiber Bar


Gazoo (talk|edits) said:

20 March 2013
I received a coupon in the mail for a dollar off on the purchase of a Luna Fiber bar. This is in the plentifully-supplied health food, health-bar section of the store. I got carried away and bought four of them.

Then I got home and read the copy on the back of the package. It starts off: As women.... Then it goes on to sing the praises of fiber and how a woman likes good tasting fiber (as if men didn't) and at the end of the story it says, "signed---from the Women of Luna".

Now Luna means moon in Latin I think, and the moon is supposed to be mysterious like women are. Over in the far corner of the package it says Luna is owned by CLIF...some of you might be familiar with the CLIF bar. I guess CLIF is a guy but I don't know for sure.

I feel like I have to hide the wrapper of my Luna bar now if I eat it in public. What if a teenage boy carried one of these to school with him: he would be a sitting duck for bullying. I feel neutered by this bar. I'd also like to know if CLIF is a group of men making these women up, or if the women are making CLIF up. I don't know.

I wonder if Bill O'Reilly has seen this yet?

Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

20 March 2013
Be careful. The fiber will take your prostate out as it passes through. You WILL be neutered. And left prostrate.

NMexEA (talk|edits) said:

20 March 2013
AHA!! Finally! Confirmation that Gazoo IS, in fact, MALE!

Now we can get on with our lives.

NMexEA (talk|edits) said:

20 March 2013
I suppose the male equivalent would be the Mars Bar?

"Shoebox" (talk|edits) said:

20 March 2013
prostrate: Lying face down, as in submission or adoration

prostate: a gland in male mammals

SpellCzech where are you?

Podolin (talk|edits) said:

20 March 2013
Gazoo wrote prostrate on purpose.

Bracket Creep (talk|edits) said:

20 March 2013
Is it only me who wonders why women have a hard time taking a dump? They have special yogurt to make you poop, and now women have special fiber bars too. With all of the salads they eat, I don't understand why women are irregular? My body works like clockwork: morning coffee, then off to the bathroom. Sometimes I don't even have my morning coffee.

Jamie Lee Curtis, eat more vegetables.

Ukbones (talk|edits) said:

20 March 2013
"Is it only me who wonders why women have a hard time taking a dump?"

I'll use that discussion starter for the next wasted Sunday afternoon with the mother-in-law.

My doctor occasionally asks what's going on with my "turds" and I have no response other than I prefer he call them "Kaiser Soze." He asks why and I explain that as soon as I sit on the throne I experience a fleeting pleasurable woosh..."and like that, they are gone." I've never seen them.

NMexEA (talk|edits) said:

20 March 2013
Gevalt! Y'all are getting punchy and there's still a month to go in the season!

NMexEA (talk|edits) said:

20 March 2013
Oh, and "Shoebox"? My very own wife just brought me her business records for her side business...in a shoebox.

Sigh.

Fr. Mackelhenry (talk|edits) said:

21 March 2013
My understanding is that Gazoo has only eaten one of the fiber bars, and the ladies of Luna have not worked their way through his body yet.

Bracket Creep (talk|edits) said:

21 March 2013
My girlfiend knew just how to hit my g=spot with her fiber bar. May yours hit the spot too.

Szptax (talk|edits) said:

21 March 2013
I believe that the protein in in Luna bar is soy protein, which is high in estrogen.

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