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Discussion:Dear Client....... any more good ones

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Discussion Forum Index --> General Chat --> Dear Client....... any more good ones


Southparkcpa (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
Please don't ask me about your deductions again, your return was E filed 3 days ago after your third review.

Yes, I do need the K1, your memory of the cash received is not sufficient.

Sure, 88 capital gains transactions received on 4/2/08 with no cost data are not a problem.

No, there is no tax break for landscaping your home.

I don't know why you made an estimated payment on 2/27/08? It doesn't match my records or dates.

Sure, I will re run your return 9 different times to see what scenario is better. I am here to serve only you.

You have 30K of self employment income, please YOU explain to your new wife why you owe money.

TA Community , feel free to add!!!!

Lizzit (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
When you called me yesterday, and asked when the return would be ready, and I said next week, calling me today won't get it done any sooner.

Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
I am sorry you refund did not meet the levels your previous preparer was able to generate. In my defense, your "previous tax guy" was an idiot.

I don't care what your neighbor's "tax guy" does, he is a moron just like the other client's "tax guy."

You made $10K more money in SE income this year and paid the same estimated payments as last year. It's not my fault you didn't call me and tell me you made more money so we could adjust you estimates. You still owe the money. And no, I am not paying the penalties.

Tom

Barbie (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
I finally convinced you to make estimated tax payments so you wouldn't owe so much at filing time, but you still owe because you reduced your withholding by the same amount as the extimated payments you made!

JAD (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
Yes, my intention during the year is to make you feel as though you are my only client. I'd do the same during tax season if it were possible. But it's not possible since my powers are limited - I do not control the laws of time! Therefore, know that it is tax season, and although I will do my best to remain professional, you are in fact not my only client and there is a limit to.....

(fill you your own ending)

And you are approaching that limit.

Laticiaw (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
I don't care that my price has increased since my soon to be ex and I have split up. If you don't like my actual price please ask him for advice and have HIM do the return for the price he's been quoting you for the past four years. (BTW - he was subsidizing your return fees...I don't do freebies).

TaxFlake (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
1. You will be getting $600 from the Stimulus Package.

2. Well I heard that all seniors are getting $300.

3. Well you heard wrong.

4. How come I'm getting $600?

5. Because you paid over $600 in taxes.

6. So how can I get the $300?

  • Go back to line one and repeat as needed.

IDrinkYourMilkshake (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
My turn my turn!

Dear potential client I've never met,

Yes I understand H&R Block qouted you at $200 less than me, please feel free to use their services. You should also purchase audit protection and pay for the rapid refund, and any other products they push as they are the best tax service in the nation. Hell, I'm not even sure why we non-HR Blockers get any business at all, it's almost like there's a difference...

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
Hey, one more time.

It's Time For Tequila.

LJK CPA (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
To the client who always brings their complicated tax docs in at the last minute and then wants a guarantee that it will be done on time:

Go Ahead - Go to H&R and I'll see you next year when I have to amend the return. Only next time maybe you'll come in earlier...

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
VIP Fee. Anyone who drops off after today is a possible extension. they can go elsewhere. This means my tax season is full and they should have come earlier. I get enough extensions to keep me busy through end of May with a relatively light workload.

Lalva (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
How about some family members that drop: "Can you HELP me with my taxes this year?" - April 1st. Let see....Rental property, various self-employment business, SS income, W2, Sch A, D...(you get the idea).

Me: Of course, dear, I will give you the family discount. Family Member: Oh! I have to pay! and btw, I need the taxes by next week.

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

1 April 2008
Posted elsewhere but too good not to repeat. Yesterday's dialogue:

"Are we doing better than last year?"

"Better is relative; it's 65K on the wrong side, not 81K."

Tfortaxes@msn.com (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
Client walks in, no appointment, throws a bunch of papers on the desk and says, " I need to know right now what my tax liability!". She knows I have an March 31st deadline for drop offs. They will be placed on extension. Even if I could finish them why would I take up time from clients who come prepared? So I opened up my hold file and tell her, "I would like to help you but I have 40 more "drop offs" ahead of you and they all want their numbers NOW! She got kinda mad and fluffed up her feathers and I stood up straight, looked her right in the eye and said, "Do you want me to file an extension for you or not?". She said, "Fine!". and stormed out of the office with all her papers in hand. Hope I never see her again.m Pffffff

LJK CPA (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
Late and rude...what a charming combination. Look at where that got her!

Kwcpa (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
Why couldn't tax season be in reverse - I would love to have those early Feb returns NOW - all information there - easy - not much thought involved - in and out with no problems. Instead - we have the messes - clients rely on us to tell them if one of their brokerage stmnts is missing - better yet - just have us call their broker to track down basis on the 100 stock transactions they have for the year..they all owe - they're even more crabby than me now - I could have dealt with these much better in Feb....

Belle (talk|edits) said:

April 2, 2008
'cuz if it was like this in Feb, we would have all quit by now!

Wwtaxes (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
Belle - how true!

Just going through my S Corps and mentioned that we never heard from one of them. Then the appt-maker tells me they have an appt for 4/9, which they made 2 MONTHS AGO, bc they were going on vacation. Can't wait to tell them they're already late, especially since we had to do an OIC for her last venture after the bookkeeper embezzled the payroll withholding.

Wwtaxes (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
Oh, and the 12th client of the year tonight that forgot - can you believe this - their W2. Them - do you need it? Me - only if you want to file your taxes.

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
"Can you give me an update?" This from a man in the throes of divorce whose wife will actually sign the return....fool!!

"Looks like you owe about 43K?"

"Why?"

"You took 95K out of your IRA"

"Nah, some of that was last year; check it, will ya?"

"Vanguard 500 Index, 22,500; Vanguard LT Bond, 22,500, Vanguard Asset Allocation, 27,500; Windsor II, 22,500"

"What are the dates?"

"No dates on the 1099s; if you don't believe me, why don't you call them?"

"Well, I bought a house, doesn't that count?"

"Might get you off some 10% penalty."

"Can I come in, meet with you. Anything I can save is better than nothing?"

'Oh sure, I have loads of time, oh did I mention New Jersey? That's gonna push you over 50K."

I really feel like calling his wife and telling her she's crazy to sign the return.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 2, 2008
Cash basis client that is required to refund deposits under certain conditions: What difference does the invoice date make? Customer's account balance is zero now (2008).

Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
"I owe how much?"

"$7,000."

"Why?"

"You received $15,000 more in Social Security. Some of it was for previous years. I did the recalculations for lump sum elections, but it didn't do much. Plus you double your investment income, plus your itemized deductions went down and overall you made $20K more than last year."

"Why did Social Security send me $15,000 more than last year?"

"I don't know? Why don't you call them?"

"NO WAY! They may want it back!"

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
Phone call message from retired floridian <God's waiting room> -

"No way I have $60,000 in AGI, it's supposed to be $47,000. You did this wronk like last year"

Hmmmmm, what part of your $14,000 in taxable SS don't you understand.

"I thought once I reached a certain age I could earn as much as I want and not pay it pack"

You are most correct sir, except paying taxes on it isn't paying it back, it's paying your TAX. Hellllllllllllllloooooooooooooooo

Told him very politely that he is an adult and that I don't appreciate telephone calls like that and I'd be happy to explain his return <why he is an idiot> for him.

He called twice more <very politely> to ask additional questions.

This is the same fool who called three times in 30 minutes when the power went back and I told him specificallyh I would get back to him in about 2 hours.

Southparkcpa (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
CPA to client: Joe, I can't do your girlfriends return. When I agreed, that was in february when you asked. It is 4/2, she is going through a divorce and I have nothing from you or her. I am sorry, I just can't.

Client: OK, should I then take my business from you and find a new accountant?

CPA: That's your choice but I am not adding any new clients at this late date.

Client" OK, I will do hers on Turbo tax. It only takes 5 minutes. I don't see the problem.

TaxFlake (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
Sorry, but you have to pay taxes on your interest/dividends/capital gains distribution.

But why?! I:

1. Didn't use it.

2. It for my kids.

3. I just reinvested the dividends and never got a check.

4. It didn't go into my checking account.

5. I never touched it.

6. I don't consider that to be income.

7. I only get SS & small pension.

8. I'm on a fixed income.

9. Isn't that double taxation?

  • 10. That's it! I'm taking it all out and putting it where it doesn't earn anything.
  • Um, you may have to pay tax if there's any capital gain.

Tilt53 (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
"There's no way I made that much money with my business last year. I'm so broke. So I revised my 4-page P & L. Take a look at it, would ya?"

Dsglouise (talk|edits) said:

2 April 2008
A priest: I’m standing before God… so whatever you calculate I’ll pay.

"Good for you! You have to pay $3000." “Wha-a-at?! Why?” “Because you received $22K on 1099 and never paid tax during the year.” “Can you deduct anything?” “Did you spend any money for business purposes?” “I did not, but my friend told me that I can deduct whatever anyway." “Careful, God is watching!”

Hippie (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
"I do not understand why I have to pay taxes again this year."

"You earned $36k on a 1099 and no one took taxes out"

"I thought i asked you to help me fix this last year?"

" Did you file those quarterly tax payments I prepared for yo?"

"You never gave me them"

Can I see the folder in your hand?"

"Yes if you paid these you would not owe taxes again this year."

"Oh ok well I wish I would have known that and I would like a discount on my fees"

What the heck do these people think we work 18 hour days for???

LJK CPA (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Client downloads a file called "Signature Pages" from my secure website...then they email me:

"Do I have to sign both pages?"


Where are people's brains this time of year?

LJK CPA (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Me: You are getting $600 from the stimulus rebate

Client: No I am getting $300

Me: No, you are getting $600

Client: That's ridiculous

Dsglouise (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
"My accountant told me that this year I’ll receive a refund. Can you do my taxes?"

"Why? "

"Because the previous year I paid, and I know that my salary is the same."

He came, and I found out that this year he got a newborn son.

"You’ve got a credit for your son, this is why you are receiving a refund."

"You’ve got to be kidding me, lady! My son is a baby, he doesn’t work!"

AHH (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Dear Client: It's April and my fuse has been lit and there's a 99.99% chance of explosion at any given moment. I strongly advise against testing your odds of survival.

Jmolliconi (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Dear Client,

Thank you for the call yesterday. I look forward to receiving your information. Of course, I'll be glad to call the trustee who paid you much more out of the trust this year. As you pointed out, it all went to your adult daughter instead of you. Even though you're the beneficiary, naturally you should not be taxed on it. After talking with him, I'll call you back so we can talk some more.

I'm delighted you're going on vacation April 12 and yes, I remember that you never like to extend. (re:JAD) It's a pleasure to work for you as my only client and hear each year how difficult your finances are as you also mention your vacation plans.

(And this guy is real - however my response... not real) jm

JAD (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
LOL. Thanks I needed that!

Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
(Client calls in a total panic they received correspondence from the IRS)

Dear Client:

The URGENT correspondence YOU received from the IRS where you proceeded to interrupt my day and frantically race over here to URGENTLY meet with me was in fact for the @#$%^&**! ECONOMIC STIMULUS PAYMENT! HAD YOU TAKEN FIVE FREAKIN' MINUTES TO READ THE DARN THING YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS!!!! BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, WE HAVE TO INTERRUPT ME BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVEN'T READ THE FREAKIN' NEWSPAPER OR WATCHED THE NEWS LATELY! AND WE ONLY LIVE 20 MINUTES FROM WHERE THE MAKE THE @!#$$%% LAWS OF THE LAND!!!!!

AND NO, I WON'T BOTHER TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH YOU ARE GETTING!!!!

There, I feel better.

Tom

AHH (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Dear Client: When you begin your conversation with, "it should ONLY take you five or ten minutes to DO my return", my psychy changes from soothing tropical blue to fiery depths of black hell.

Wkstaxprep (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
client "thank you MR. EA or CPA for doing my taxes in a crunch i really appreciate it, but i still dont understand why you raised my fee $25.. how do you justify a 12% increase from last year?"

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 3, 2008
Ahh, that sounds awful. You need to come out and take a look at the big, beautiful, blue ocean.

AHH (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Sorry Natalie, I guess that was a tad melodramatic :( No worries, I popped in the tropical bliss cd and all is well now is this grand tax world. (But don't even go telling me you have that view out of your office window...grrrrr) Shhhhhhhhh, it's all good.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 3, 2008
Well, actually, it's raining right now.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 3, 2008
Did I mention it's cold again, too. I'm going to get my sweatshirt.

AHH (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Yeah, tell me bout it. On NC coast last week it was 80. Today it's barely 50. No wonder my mood keeps swinging from blue to black!

Nancyshoemake (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Yes, I want my $22500 real estate seminar written off.....I don't understand why you won't write it off....I am a real estate professional since I own a rental property......and by the way.....I want a detailed breakdown of why you are charging me $350....

This was the ice breaker today!

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Time for Tequila.

Natalie? Belle?

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 3, 2008
This doesn't really relate, but ATA just filed for bankruptcy! We had tickets with ATA. Now I'll be spending most of this morning trying to get refunds and rescheduling, etc., etc.

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
where we goin?

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 3, 2008
Thanks Fred. I needed a laugh. "We" are going to Wisconsin, but I'm not sure how "we" are going to get there. Does anyone have any contacts with ATA? I wonder if we'll have our tickets transferred. I got the tickets through Priceline, and they just told me they haven't heard about the ATA bankruptcy yet. It's all over the news here.

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
will we be drinking tequila

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 3, 2008
I'm not much of a tequila drinker, but if you'd like to bring some, that's fine with me. By the way, I started a new chat discussion on this so others can get back to talking about their "understanding" clients.

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Drinking Tequila helps us understand our clients better.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 3, 2008
Well, now, that's a new one. Has that claim been run by the FDA yet?

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Not sure, but hey, I get way mega creative. Magic wand is way powerful with tequila additive.

Belle (talk|edits) said:

April 3, 2008
No, Fred, tequila makes us not CARE whether we understand our PITA clients or not.

Natalie, I've never been to Wisconsin....just finished a WI non-resident return tho. How come you guys have so much time on your hands? I'm buried!

Southparkcpa (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Dear Client

You were very nice in booking your appointment in early February. I too was disappointed that you owe $5,000 but you made 45K in self employment income and paid no taxes. It is now 4/3/08 and I am still waiting on that additional information. By the way, I want to be paid when and if you ever pick up your information and don't be surprised that my "FIRE THE CLIENT" letter beats you to your house.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 3, 2008
Southpark, maybe you should hold off on that "fire the client" letter until the check clears the bank.

Belle, I'm on Hawaiian time, and Fred is on "Fred" time.

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
If you like Fred Time, you should try visiting Freddy World. <EG>

Pierce (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
What about me?

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 3, 2008
Shoot, see now Fred, Pierce feels left out. You need to keep better track of your commitments.


Pierce, you're welcome to join us. Action still has her thing set for the Big Island, "we" are going to Wisconsin, you have the Montana branding thing . . . . You have lots of choices!

LJK CPA (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Is "crazy" a destination. If so, count all of us in over here at my office!

At least I get to look forward to visiting my cousin in CO in April and then in May I am taking my two teen girls to downtown Chgo (we live not far from there) to stay on the MAG Mile (within walking distance of Navy Pier and Water Tower Shopping Mall and Millenium Park).

Pierce (talk|edits) said:

3 April 2008
Actually, Natalie, I'd be plumb happy to come water yore plants fer ya.

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

4 April 2008
I guess the way we're workin it we may all have to go vacation in Utah.

Acctax (talk|edits) said:

4 April 2008
Dear Client:

I am so sorry that you owed over $5200 on your return. I know its tough that you are broke & it will place a financial burden on you BUT you did have $28,000 of income including interest income of $9000+ with no estimated income tax paid like I have told you over and over to pay. You can nick-pick the return all you want too but the figures are not going to change. Be of good cheer, I have another client owing over $26,000 at the moment with another $100,000 to add & You want to complain. Go to Jackson-Hewitt next yr and they will make you happy.

Dar

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 4, 2008
I'll bite -- what's in Utah?

Wwtaxes (talk|edits) said:

4 April 2008
Shoot! You have to be a 'member' to have tequila there!

Client (2nd appt to get her bookkeeping straightened out): Once I have this set of tasks done, then when can I make another appt?

Me: Well, we're running low on appointments at this point. It would pretty much have to be next week.

Client: But we're going out of town tomorrow, and I still have to do the clean up you told me to do.

Me (in my dreams): I'm sure the IRS will take that into consideration and let you blow off the April 15th deadline.

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

4 April 2008
I'll just let you think about it a while Ms. Natalie.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 4, 2008
My brain is stuck on air travel options at the moment. The only thing I can think of is Mormons, and that certainly doesn't line up with your agenda. By the way, I'm going to edit your post (change to Natalie).

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 4, 2008
Ohhhhhh, shoot Fred! It just dawned on me. Some things go right over my head. Yikes. It's a good thing I'm going to do my workout soon. I need a break.

Woodstock (talk|edits) said:

4 April 2008
Client: Can you tell me why, with a $110,000 loss on real estate, I am not getting back the $40,000 I paid in federal taxes last year?

(Client made $270,000 in income last year)

Joanmcq (talk|edits) said:

4 April 2008
No I did not do your kid's returns for free. And the amount they get back or owe does not change their filing requirements. And you still owe me $350. (a good friend's stuff)

Wwtaxes (talk|edits) said:

4 April 2008
When you sent me your 'tax stuff', you should have probably included the minor details that you got married, bought a house, and invested in an S Corp. Aside from that, when I tell you you owe $19K, you should have realized that you never told me you made $20K in estimated payments, which I guessed anyway. However, the fact that you can't remember if you made estimated state tax payments doesn't mean that I'm supposed to be able to look into a crystal ball and figure it out for you. And the fact that you absolutely need these today for financing is not my problem.

Belle (talk|edits) said:

April 4, 2008
WW - I think Fred had a 'private' club in mind with ref to Utah.

Told a client last week - My cut-off to avoid an extension is 9:00 am April 1st. He calls Mon afternoon: USPO and/or FedX can't get it here until 10:30. Me: If you hadn't waited until last minute.....OK, OK, OK 10:30 will still suffice IF THE INFO IS COMPLETE!!

Package shows up, every third page of the organizer has "call me to discuss" on it.

He's already on the "CTOBET" list as he was rude to my receptionist. Now he's on the list in CAPITAL LETTERS. And he questions the bill every year. Sigh.

Southparkcpa (talk|edits) said:

4 April 2008
Dear client,

Your W2 shows taxable wages of $1.8 million dollars. You cashed in ISO's of approximately $1 million and there was NO withholding, federal or state. The fact that I could have saved you $40,000 by prepaying your state tax is a crying shame. This savings is lost forever as next year you will be affected by AMT.

Please don't cry on my shoulder about your tax liability. Perhaps you would like to roll up your sleeves and do a few 1040's....

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 4, 2008
NO withholding on $1.8M in wages?! How'd he get away with that one? On second thought, he's not really getting away with it, is he?

Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

4 April 2008
Oh, SouthparkCPA, AMT wouldn't have applied this year anyway?

Southparkcpa (talk|edits) said:

4 April 2008
Kevin

Perhaps I wasn't clear. At 1.8 mil in 2007 income there is NO AMT in 2007 thus if he prepaid his 2007 NC tax in December 2007 , deducted it in 2007 he would have saved BIG BUCKS on his federal return. When he pays his NC tax bill of almost 75K in April 2008 and his wages go back down to 300K in 2008 NO DEDUCTION in 2008 because of AMT

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 4, 2008
While working with another tax preparer (ATP):

(ATP) Beginning of week - Please send us a copy of the annual ___ return for x client.

(Me) I'll work on it later this week and have it to you by the end of the week along with the reclassification entries for the penalties and interest.

(ATP) Yesterday - I finished the return and am just waiting for the ___ return and the adjustments you referred to.

(Me) No response.

(ATP) Minutes ago - I am just wondering if you can give me the ___ return today then I can finish the other returns (individuals) today. Or do you want us to prepare it.? I can prepare it if you tell us the payments, interest and penalties.

(Me) to myself - I said I would give it to you the end of the week. My word is good. No, I cannot authorize you to prepare something for a client; the client has to make that decision. Regardless, client does not like paying fees for inefficient work. If I have to dig out all of the information for the return, I might as well put it together myself.

Actionbsns (talk|edits) said:

5 April 2008
Phone call this morning - some guy: I need to have an extension filed,how much do you charge to do that? I have a business and need the TR prepared, how much for that?

Me: The extension is $50, you need to sign an Engagement Letter for us to prepare your tax return, have all the information with you and available and the return is $100 per hour.

some guy: (happily) Oh, so it's $150 for the extension and the tax return.

Me: No that's not what I said. It's $50 for the extension, blah blah blah, and the TR is $100 per hour to prepare.

some guy: Well how much will it be?

Me: No idea. I haven't seen your stuff, you have a business, I have no idea what else you have.

some guy: It's not really a business, it's a partnership?

Well, that made a lot of difference, so we go around it again. He finally says, well thanks, he'll keep looking and we hang up.

Lisa, my assistant, says: Yeah! he's gone. and I have to admit, didn't hurt my feelings too much.

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

5 April 2008
$100 an hour in Hawaii. Action, should be $200 at least. I'm not as expensive as some of these others. lol.

I'd tell them minimum for business where there info is primarily data entry ready is $400. Average is $800 to 1,200.

Now, <to potential client I say this> if you are organized and you would know that, you would be towards the lower end. If you bring in a shoebox, then plan on the higher end and maybe more. <And this part I have been mentioning in a joking fashion, but serious> Turnaround time is not immediate and I prepare all returns as they come in unless special circumstances apply. At this point we are looking at 10 days to 2 weeks. If you drop it off and then call me 4 days later to see if it’s done, tack on $100. <$25 for simple personal return>. You call again, another $100. I promise to call you when I have questions and again when they are done. I do want you to call me with questions. I want you to call often with questions. If I can avoid issues later by answering questions ow, that’s good. I am available to you, just not for a status, are my taxes done yet call.

LJACPA (talk|edits) said:

5 April 2008
Thank you for getting your information in so early this year and so neat. However, what is this 1099-S you provided for $500,000, with the notation, "we are reporting a CG of $35,000"?

Emailed on 3/19 to find out what this was for. Emailed again on 4/1 because I hadn't heard. Finally got the information on 4/3 and, lo and behold, once he went back and got all the information together, we now have a CG of over $160,000! And, we owe taxes of over $30,000 and another state tax return to do for the sale. I never cease to be amazed, left to their own conclusions, the TP can come up with such incredibly wrong conclusions. That's why you keep asking and nagging, and not take their info at face value. Unbelievable!

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 5, 2008
Action, it sounds like we need to up our rates. I'm at $100/hour also.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 6, 2008
Let's just change the title of this discussion to "gripes."

New Hawaii tax form. Here's the numbering scheme for the lines:

1 through 7 then 21

8 through 16 then 22

And on it goes.

Who comes up with these ideas anyway?

DZCPA (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
Dear Client, you do have to pay the IRS the $85 owed to them. It is not included in my fee. I do not pay my clients balances due.

DLLCPA (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
Call the client "I need to find out about this, that and the other thing."

Client: "You've got it! I gave you everything you need. Did you lose it?"

Eventually the client says "Yeah, I'll call you with that tomorrow I forgot about that."

TaxFlake (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
DZCPA's post related. My spouse picks up tax info from her father from a potential new client he finds, who doesn't have a phone. My spouse gives me the forms and says her dad'a friend wants to know if I can do her taxes. I look at forms quickly, then hand them back to my spouse and tell her to give them to her dad and to tell dad to ask his friend if she wants me to do her taxes or pay her taxes? Tax info was four envelopes with 1040es vouchers in them!

Tonight's drop off included an envelope of presciption drugs receipts which I dutifully tally up. Going through rest of folder, tucked in at the back: YTD printouts from drugstore complete with totals. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Nancyshoemake (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
this topped the cake last year....client gets audited....filled out organizer with a donation to a non profit for $3500...took the deduction....upon audit could not locate the receipt.....found out the deduction was listed on prior tax return also included in that years' organizer....

My fault as I should have noticed it was the same amount two years in a row????? Don't I review his work???

Nancyshoemake (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
this topped the cake last year....client gets audited....filled out organizer with a donation to a non profit for $3500...took the deduction....upon audit could not locate the receipt.....found out the deduction was listed on prior tax return also included in that years' organizer....

My fault as I should have noticed it was the same amount two years in a row????? Don't I review his work???

JAD (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
Not your fault. Stick to your guns on that one. Some people give the same amount each year as part of an annual giving plan.

Southparkcpa (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
Nancy

I have seen your engagement letter. it clearly spells out client responsibility. While I would also feel bad, I wouldn't accept more than say 25 percent responsibility.

Possibly discount the audit fee but what else can you do?

I once questioned a client on why his rental Repairs and Maintenance of over $4,000 was "same as last year". Apparantly he realized I was on to him and never returned.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 6, 2008
Southpark, what do you mean "accept 25% of the responsibility"? As JAD pointed out, many people give the same amount year after year. The more we dig into the numbers, the more the clients will be expecting it. By doing this, we are enabling them to be less responsible for their own information, IMHO.

Belle (talk|edits) said:

April 6, 2008
I agree, on the organizer in the client's handwriting, 100% client fault and responsibility.

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
'many people give the same amount year after year." Not around here, Natalie! They say:

"What did I give last year?" or

"About the same as last year" or

"It's probably like it was last year, but you know with an uplift for inflation" or, and I have seen this in writing,

"Whatever won't get me audited."

Seriously, the client is an idiot to write down the same number, especially if she's been your client for some time and is used to the organizer.

btw, I reminds me of this guy who would sit down with his prior year return and raise everything 10% when you would ask for an expense. One year he accidentally brought his second year back return, so when he gave the expenses an uplift he was only to where he was in the last year. He couldn't understand why his refund dropped.

Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
Oh, gosh David. That conversation is awfully familiar.

"Put me down for the same as last year" is what I always hear.

"No" is what I say in response.

Tom

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 6, 2008
D&T, what do you do with those clients who say those things?

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
I had one who sent his stuff in and for contributions the remark was "whatever the market will bear"

uh uh uh uh.

What I explain to my clients is that I am not an auditor, and that I have no need to sift through their receipts, but if I believe a number is not a number I won't put it on the return. I also let them know that for the most part I have no reason to not believe them. That they need to go through their own records and to call me back with a number for their charitable contributions. That if audited, they will need to produce the required documentation necessary for those contributions and that if they don't have it, they will have to pay the tax, plus interest and possible penalties.

I have seen preparers not even call the client to ask them what they had for contributions, they just added to the previous year. That's frickin ridiculous.


A

Southparkcpa (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
Natalie

Of course you are correct At 25 percent I was trying to be kind and think about all sides. For me personally, I market my practice as such where my clients view what I do as a bit more and I welcome that. Our average fee is well above $500 and at that price the client(I believe) expects a bit more. I think Nancy is right, She should possibly have noticed it but it's late and we all miss things. I, as I am sure you do, despise accountants who simply accept what the clients gives. That is below AICPA and Treasury standards.

When I meet a client I tell them the following: "Preparing your return is NOT an Easter egg hunt. You have tremendous responsibility in providing the information in a well organized format". I use those words exactly.

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

6 April 2008
This year I tell them, "That doesn't work anymore"

Lively (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
Client: What do you mean I owe $8K in taxes?

Me: You sold a rental property you held for 30 years and you made a large profit on it.

Client: But my neighbor sold her property and she didn't have to pay ANY taxes.

Me: Did she live in the property for a long period of time?

Client: Yes.

Me: That makes it a residence and it is subject to different rules.

Client: That's not right. Why do I have to pay $8K and my neighbor doesn't. Is it because her husband is military?

Me: sigh.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 7, 2008
Southpark, I agree with you to a point about tax preparers who "simply accept" numbers provided by clients. There are many times when something just doesn't look right and an extra couple of minutes looking at the prior year will raise a question or two. I also take extra steps with my clients, but it bothers me that in general, people simply do not take responsibility for their own actions or lack thereof. In this case, it was the client's responsibility to notice the error.

Wwtaxes (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
Dear Client, I'm sorry you don't have money to pay your taxes, which you told me over the phone from an extended tropical vacation and more than a little intoxicated, while I am up here working killer hours in the arctic. I really feel for you. And of course I can wait until you get back to give me the missing information, I mean what's the rush anyway? Who do those IRS weenies think they are, raining on your parade?! I also have absolutely no problem re-opening your file at least a dozen different times when you get me that missing information, piece ---- by ---- agonizing ---- piece, often generating a new missing piece of information. It's what I live for.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 7, 2008
Client: Since I didn't have any K-1s this year, will the fee be less than you estimated in the engagement letter?

Me: Well, based on the actual time spent and my current rate (not the discounted rate you get), it should actually be about $125 higher.

Client: Oh, I just thought I'd check so I know what to expect.

Nancyshoemake (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
Taxpayer receives $40k in back pay for disability through social security. Also cashed out IRA monies of $70k.

"But I called the IRS and they said that you are doing my return incorrectly. This disability is not taxed like "social security". It is not taxable." says dumb client. "But since you cashed out $70k in IRA monies - it is taxable" responds the burned out tax preparer. "Well, I trust the IRS and I am taking my return to them to figure it out". replies the dumb client

Oh well!

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
That phrase, "I called the IRS" might be the biggest troublemaker. Maybe we have some poor preparers, but some of the people on those assistance lines at this time of year are the ones that villages are always needing.

Nancyshoemake (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
i have a great idea for a new discussion - answers and responses from the irs!!

Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
I've had that happen where a client called the IRS. It's possible we all have. Anyway, taxpayer got the answer they wanted to hear. I called later got a different answer than my research showed that was also completely different than the client's answer. I printed out everything and gave it to the client straight from the code. Their response:

"It's wrong. It's not what the IRS says."

Tom

Nancyshoemake (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
and the response most appropriate ........"WHATEVER"!!!!!

Lukerand (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
Them: "Do I have to report my earnings from __________?"

Me: "Yes."

Them: "Well, I don't consider it a job though."

Me: "That's not really relevant."

Them: "H&R Block didn't count it last year."

Me: "Did you tell them about it?"

Them: "No."

Me: "Maybe that's why. It is reportable income."

Them: "I think I'll just go back to H&R Block."

Nancyshoemake (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
OK...now I just had one of the cocky **** pilot in here....He has an investment that has been considered a "ponzi scheme" but the courts has not finalized the bankruptcy and until he receives a settlement....I am holding off on any losses. So...

(as paperwork is being thrown to me in the air) "Well, have you read this.....and what about this document"....."Do you really know what you are doing......Are you sure you are familiar with this entertainment industry investment...."

With rising blood pressure I respond, "Sir....you are RUDE and I want you to stop throwing those papers at me"..."

Guess who will be getting a Dear John letter this summer?

Mdwtax (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
Met with two different clients yesterday that fit the stories you all are saying. This is my first year with the clients, as I bought the book of business last summer. Apparently, the guy I bought it from did just what you are saying - 'business expenses, let's just raise them 10% each year.' Or, 'there's a range on meals & entertainment that the IRS won't look at, so stick something in there like that.'

Now they are coming to me and expecting me to 'same as last year' all of their businesses. I'm thinking of offering my bookkeeping service throughout the rest of the year, because apparently they have never taken responsibility for their own finances. And of course charging them well for it.

I finally told one of them yesterday, I'm sorry you owe money this year, and yes you've had a rough year, but if we have to go meet with the IRS and you answer questions by saying, 'I don't know the answer, my accountant just always filled in numbers,' I will lose my license and subject my family to the kind of legal trouble that changes lifestyles.

The other appointment knew he could not owe the IRS money. I showed him his 2006 & 2007 W2 for comparison. Salary went up by 25%, withholding went down by almost 20% - surprise, you owe! He took his paperwork to go work on it and try again somewhere else.

Wkstaxprep (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
i have had a "good buddy" client who has gotten a nice refund every year and also took it upon himself to always say "Will, i'll mail you your check when i get my refund"-keeping in mind he is not poverty stricken by any stretch of the imagination, then of course after they get the refund they conveniently forget and need to be reminded about the fee.

this year same client had a tremendous windfall and is paying big taxes.

question: since he is not getting a refund, do i as the tax accountant now have to pay him a portion of the tax due for the privelege of preparing his taxes?

Will

Wkstaxprep (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
" Will, i know its April 7th and u must be crazy busy right? and even though i have asked you this question twice already this tax season and i'm a low paying unappreciative "friend" client but could you answer this question again because one of my other friends told me different but is the stimulus check taxable on next year's return?"

Will

Laticiaw (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
Just because I cut the estimates that you gave me last year in half and didn't increase my withholding by that amount doesn't mean that it's MY fault that I owe taxes this year now does it.

BTW, I thought the IRS had fixed it so that I didn't have to pay AMT this year at all...are you SURE you know what you are doing?

Wkstaxprep (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
"are are you telling me my employer forgot to withhold nyc taxes on my w-2?" aren't they responsible for the tax now because they screwed up?"

Mdwtax (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
Client: Should I include a copy of my federal when mailing in the state?

Answer: I assembled them, so you should just be able to sign the returns and mail in as is.

20 minutes later,

Same client: I checked with HRB, they said I don't need to attach the federal. Answer: It says right on the state return to include a copy. If you'd e-filed, this issue would not have wasted 30 minutes of your time, or interrupted me twice in the same half hour with the same dumba** question.

Tpacct (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
How about "Dear Non-Client"

CALLER: "I usually prepare my own tax return. (Don't you just love it when they start with that phrase?) Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

ME: Well, it depends.

CALLER: "Do I show the expenses for my rental property on Schedule E?"

ME: I'm sorry but I don't give instructions on how to prepare a tax return over the phone."

CALLER: "How about the points I paid when I bought my house. Do I show those on Schedule A?"

ME: "Again, I don't give instructions on how to prepare a tax return over the phone."

Mdwtax (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
Saw a plaque once that said something to the effect of 'dumb questions yield dumb answers.' It's a business deduction if I buy that and put in my office isn't it?

I think it was referring more to vague questions get vague answers, but at this point of the season it wears me out just to have to talk to the clients. Smiley customer service is dwindling and I have my countdown clock set to hours.

JAD (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
In a similar vein: The caller, "I'm preparing my returns, and I need to come by your office to pick up forms."

Me, in my head, "Ok, person is so stupid or so disconnected that he's not getting his forms online, and do I really want that person coming to my house?"

Me, to the caller: "I don't have any forms here other than the ones that the software generates with client's information already filled out. You can get them online or in a stationary store. Good luck."

MikeDongo (talk|edits) said:

7 April 2008
Nancyshoemake-

Sounds like your client dealt with "fire" + "a place for sitting, waiting, smoking, etc., esp. a large public room, as in a hotel, theater, or air terminal, often with adjoining washrooms."

Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

15 April 2008
Dear Client:

I realize you quit your previous preparer because he's "too far away for you." But you really must take me for a real idiot if you think for one minute I believe that he charged you only $300 for the following services:

Individual and State Individual Returns, S Corp and State Pass-Through Entity Returns and Personal Property Returns.

You really think I am bigger idiot if you believe I am going to charge you that same amount for these services with an additional S Corp thrown into the mix.

Whatever you are smoking, I don't want it. It's obviously dangerous to your health because your brain is fried.

Tom

Wwtaxes (talk|edits) said:

15 April 2008
Dear Client,

I understand you left a message as to why your return is taking so long this year. Well, you changed your partnership numbers after I'd already entered all of them. You forgot one of your K1's for your personal return. The change to the partnership changed both partners' returns. It also created a Schedule E on one partner's return. Then I got the K1 about a week later, but I still didn't have the valuations of the farm buildings for the new Schedule E. I finally got those after several rounds of emails. Then I sent the returns for your review, but never heard back. Then when I bothered to inquire about them, you finally bothered to tell me that both partners had made estimated tax payments, not just the one you'd given me the numbers for. It then took about 15 rounds of email to find out what amounts the other partner paid, and frankly I'm only about 75% confident that I have the right amounts. Then you tell me after all is done that you put money into a Roth this year, and just realized that your income is too high. So then we waited another 3 days for you to decide what you wanted to do about it. Every time I get a new piece of information, I have to find time to squeeze in your return between others, and then I have to refresh my memory as to the details of your return. Both personal returns now have Schedules A,B,C,D, and E on them, as well as multiple K1's on each, not to mention the special state college tuition plan deduction. Then there are your state returns, including the new property tax relief schedules. Does that give you an idea of why your returns took so long????

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 15, 2008
So Joyce, do your engagement letters include a clause whereby you can increase the fee due to unforeseen issues? Or better yet, are you billing by the hour?

Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

15 April 2008
Dear Client:

I received your e-mail this evening about the "missed deduction." The tax return preparation fee was not "missed." I didn't include it since it would not have risen to above the 2% floor necessary for personal itemized deductions.

I also did not "miss" the sales tax deduction you and all you friends discussed today in your car pool. I don't need an education in tax code. I draw your attention to the actual header in the Internal Revenue Code itself that you and your friends seem to keep forgetting exists or that the commercials the famous national chain doesn't tell you about:

IRC§164(b)(5)(A) - ELECTION TO DEDUCT STATE AND LOCAL SALES TAXES IN LIEU OF STATE AND LOCAL INCOME TAXES....

The words "in lieu of" are key. You either deduct your income taxes paid or the sales taxes. In your case, the income taxes paid generate a better tax break. But if you insist that I should deduct the sales tax because the car dealer knows more than I do and so do the people in your car pool, I will do so. This will cost you $570 in federal taxes.

Now, check with your car dealer or you carpool to see if I "missed" anything else before I work on your "amended" return.

Tom

PHIL MOODY (talk|edits) said:

15 April 2008
Mr. xxx

Thank you for your recent letter explaining why your payment to us will be approximately 4 months late due to your CD not maturing until that time. We can certainly appreciate your financial timing issue.

Our monthly service charge, as stated on our invoices, is currently 18% APR. It is our understanding that your current CD rate is 2.95% APR. From a financial perspective, it may be more economical for you to find other sources from which to pay the current invoice.

Feel free to contact us at any time.

Wwtaxes (talk|edits) said:

15 April 2008
Natalie - funny you ask! I just had a little chat with the bossman yesterday about how we are writing next year's letter right away before we forget about all the stuff we want to put in it. We probably need to calm down a bit before we do though.

Dear Unknown New Client(???), I understand that you dropped off 3 years of tax papers at the mortgage office on April 14th. We rent space from them for evening appointments during tax season, but we ask our clients not to disturb their business. You really need to contact us about whether we can do your taxes, as they are not aware of our business. So when you bring in the rest of the missing papers on 4/15, please just leave an envelope for us or bring them in the evening when we are there.

BTW - we don't even have a sign up for our tax business - she just heard about us somewhere!

Ckb (talk|edits) said:

15 April 2008
Received a phone call this morning from a client that I had just called 10 minutes earlier to let her know that the tax return was done and that she needed to come in by 1:00 to sign it so that I would be able to e-file it.

Client: I want to do an extension.

ME: For what?

Client: For my taxes. I heard on TV that you could extend it for 6 months and I want to do that.

ME: Well, the extension only extends the time to file. You still have to pay the tax that is due now.

Client: Oh. Well I heard it on TV so thought I had better check on it because I won't be able to pay until July.


Please save me from the stupid people  :-)

Nancyshoemake (talk|edits) said:

15 April 2008
58 year old female client calls crying...."You just gotta tell me...I know my husband is having an affair and you have to find out for me if the stock he sold he gave to this other woman."

Julie, in the office says.."There is no way we know what your husband did with the proceeds of the stock." The desperate woman responds, "But you are a woman and know how terrible men are....my father did it, my brother did it and now my grandchildren are not going to have any money because he is giving it all away."

WHATEVER!

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 15, 2008
She should ask Fred.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

April 15, 2008
Gee Fred, as I posted that comment, the site almost went down.

Nancyshoemake (talk|edits) said:

15 April 2008
Fred, do you want a new client?

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

21 April 2008
All men are evil. All men are not terrible. That one would also be a jerk. Not all men are jerks.

Taxman3132 (talk|edits) said:

21 April 2008
every year the first words out of my foreign born client's mouth(who does only cash business)

"Me no got no money, Mr. John" i hear this every year.

Dsglouise (talk|edits) said:

21 April 2008
LOL, and I hear this from every other client!

Actionbsns (talk|edits) said:

22 April 2008
My favorite foreign born tale, was a hispanic lady who came in, looking for H&R Block because someone else down the street yelled at her and said to go there. She was terribly upset and I really felt sorry for her since she didn't seem to understand our tax system and needed to have her tax return prepared, had a cranky husband or ex-husband with whom she did not live and she described a VERY simple situation. Quoted her $100. She left and came back with a shopping bag full of receipts and papers - and I mean stuffed full! Seems she has a little coffee farm up the hill that makes no money so the tax preparation should be either very cheap or non existent. I told her this isn't what you described and I can't do this return for $100, it would take us about 10 hours just to get through all the receipts and the bill would likely be closer to $600. She started crying again and said her husband's CPA could do it for free. We gently suggested she send her shopping bag to that CPA since he was obviously way cheaper than us.

Genskitty (talk|edits) said:

March 3, 2009
Client calls up to make an appointment.

Me: What is your phone number? Client: Which one do you want? Me: The one that I can reach you at? Client: Oh, it's xxx-xxx-xxxx Me: Is that your home, work, or cell? Client: Cell

Genskitty (talk|edits) said:

March 3, 2009
Client calls up to make an appointment.

Me: What is your phone number?

Client: Which one do you want? 

Me: The one that I can reach you at?

Client: Oh, it's xxx-xxx-xxxx

Me: Is that your home, work, or cell?

Client: Cell

Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

3 March 2009
Cell as in he has a photo of him holding up a number?

Genskitty (talk|edits) said:

March 3, 2009
lol lol probably

Wkstaxprep (talk|edits) said:

3 March 2009
I had a client this year who said he may be expecting a corrected W-2 (fairly big return, schedule E etc.)

he kept pestering me "when are you going to e-file, when is the e-file going down, " i kept telling him lets wait a few weeks to see if you get that corrected W-2.

I finally caved in and e-filed, two days later "oh, $%#@, Will i got that corrected W-2 you said I might get, when can you "re" e-file my taxes" LOL !!!

now, he's on my back to get the amended returns filed asap, and he's baffled that i can't re-efile and we have to send a return(amneded) in the old fashioned way

lucky for him he is a good client who gets me referrals, lol.

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

3 March 2009
God must love idiots; He made so many of them.

Or as the sign I have somewhere says: "If A..holes could fly, this place would be an airport."

Lalva (talk|edits) said:

3 March 2009
I just get scared when a client tells me that his/her return is VERY SIMPLE or STRAIGHT FORWARD, because those are the most time consuming and complicated. Like we say in my country or origin: "Ignorance is fearless".

And the latest: lady wants to set appointment for the FREE consultation (far, far away from my home- I am a mobile preparer), this is happening in tax season. And also she wants to know if the tax preparation is also FREE if she doesn't like the outcome. Hey, this is not "I don't like it, therefore I don't have to pay for it". Plus the return is WHAT IT IS, like it or not. Or I don't like to pay, so I won't pay you and you are going to do a REFUND return, not an I OWE TAXES return. Aaaarggh!

Sorry, I had to vent :-)

Wkstaxprep (talk|edits) said:

3 March 2009
many of my clients every year always ask me "what is this 1099-G i got from the state" when i tell them its their prior year state refund that, assuming they itemized last year and were not in the AMT, they have to report as income this year, they get really upset for some reason.

That 1099-G from NYS seems to get under their skin more than most things.

Fsteincpa (talk|edits) said:

4 March 2009
I have the single W-2 client short form that doesn't like the fact that he did not have enough withholding taken out. Comes in, pays for his return, but asks us not to e-file as he is going to see if his mother can get him more back.

Hey, at least he paid. lolb

Southparkcpa (talk|edits) said:

4 March 2009
I feel honored that someone dug this up from last year!

They are all still funny.

Uncle Sam (talk|edits) said:

4 March 2009
This year - I've got the strangest thing happen.

More clients who do itemize - forget to bring the mortgage statement that gives them the mortgage interest (and in most cases, the real estate taxes paid).

Genskitty (talk|edits) said:

March 4, 2009
Southparkcpa, I am glad I was able to honor you with this. I was reading some of Tom's posts that's how I found it. BTW: I'm planning on digging up more posts hopefully thats just --- well... you know, a great way to vent and remind everyone that we all have more than our share of stupid people that we have to deal with during this time of year.

I also take special requests...lol  :)

Lukepccpa (talk|edits) said:

4 March 2009
Those of you with small offices in small towns might appreciate this.

I came into work early (at 5:00AM)to have some quiet time to get something done. Sign says CLOSED and door is locked. Client (an early riser) comes barreling up to the front door and runs into it like a bird into a plate glass window because the door is locked. Rattles the door two or three times and looks in. Then walks away. (The client can't see me and I'm watching all this from the reflection off of a picture on the wall).

The next thing I know the client is standing in my office! He had checked the back door, seen it was unlocked, and helped himself in!

Client: Your sign says closed and your door was locked.

Me: Yes, that's because we don't open until 8:00.

Client: What are you doing here so early?

Me: I came in early to get caught up on some work.

Client: So....(pauses)...are you busy?

Me: Yes, that's why I came in early.

Client: Well since you're here, can I drop off my tax papers and go over them with you? I've got a few questions.

Me: Sigh....Ok....let's see what you've got.

Client: Got a big day planned?

Me: Yes...I've got appointments back to back all day.

Client: So do you think I can pick my return up later today?

Me: (As gently and politely as possible)....No....I already told you I'm booked full today.

Client: Oh...OK....how about later tonight?

Lalva (talk|edits) said:

4 March 2009
Yeah, and then he will bargain your fee!

Laticiaw (talk|edits) said:

4 March 2009
Oh yeah, you remember the one that didn't understand that when ex made the price then it was cheaper than when I make the price from last year? She didn't keep track of her tax return, so guess who had to send her another copy free of charge this year? Wondering if I should send her a bill for the computer space her return is taking up?

Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

4 March 2009
Luke, that is precious. Over ten years ago I walked in to the office that is also a Bankruptcy lawyer's office at 9:10 to prepare for my 10am client. There he was, sitting and waiting. The paralegal who works there motioned me and told me the guy had been there since 7:30 when he opened the door. Of course, the man was a retiree.....they always come early....nothing else to do.

Then there was the man who drove 65 miles from Allentown to Philly for an 11am appointment. My secretary noted that he had the wrong day; his appointment was for the next day, but he insisted today was the date on the reminder. She checked the database we used and saw he was wrong, but he began to put up a stink.....I told him to have a seat and I would work him in. I realized later that he knew the forecast for the next day was a snowstorm, so pulled this power play.

I've had them show up at 8am for a 8pm appointment.

Genskitty (talk|edits) said:

March 4, 2009
DT, "I've had them show up at 8am for a 8pm appointment." lol now I call that coming early for an appointment

Rellis (talk|edits) said:

4 March 2009
Luke, your story (because of the back door) reminds me of what a worker of one of the top three payroll companies did.

We had a front showroom/office door, and a back warehouse door. It was very clear to use the front door, and the warehouse door was just a loading dock. The payroll company knew that we opened at 9am, and never had a problem showing up after that.

One day, they sent a substitute to deliver the payroll envelope with checks. That happened to be the same morning after my warehouse manager forgot to lock the back warehouse door. Luckily we had an alarm system with door contacts and motion sensors. The back door was set to automatic alarm - there was no delay for entering a code through the back door. When she arrived at 7:30am, she found the front dark and locked. For some reason, she decided to try the back warehouse door. After opening it, hearing the alarm go off, and seeing it was dark in there also, she decided to flip on a light and walk all the way up to my office to drop off the payroll envelope. She managed to get in her car and leave before the cops showed up, and cleared our building with guns drawn. Cops figured it was a random person trying to rob stores and fled when the alarm went off.

I only figured it out half an hour later when we were still closed, and I went WTF why is the payroll envelope already on my desk. She (the payroll company driver) later claimed that she thought it was odd a loud alarm was going off, but thought nothing of it -- even as she passed the cops with their lights/sirens going past her on the road leading to our location.

Lalva (talk|edits) said:

6 March 2009
Oh, wow, and then some people think that our profession is boring :-)

TaxNerd (talk|edits) said:

6 March 2009
I had a client the other day who had a W-2 showing over $600,000 in wages. As we were wrapping up his return, he was asking me if I knew anything about getting financial aid from private schools, as he was considering sending his child there next year.

And another one who needed me to "squeeze him in" so he could complete his FAFSA application on time for financial aid for his kid's college. A few years ago he had a W-2 showing 1.2 million from cashing out Microsoft options. I will concede that he has probably pi**ed that money away over the past few years, but still, the entitlement mentality out there is hard to fathom sometimes.

And the other client who has made an average of $500,000 per year over the last decade, and is now facing foreclosure on his house (2.4 million dollar loan - we can't even write off all the interest). And, of course, he has the Panama City Beach condo that he may have to give back, too. And his check for tax prep bounced. He has since sent a replacement check - hope it clears. Amazing.

Laticiaw (talk|edits) said:

12 March 2009
How about the client that you have to explain to them gently every year that because they didn't get their information on their companies to us until today (at the time, we didn't even have the corporate information), there was no way in heck we were going to be able to file the returns, corp or individual, without an extension. For some people they think one thing and one thing only -- extension = irs audit.

Or the other client that has umpteen rentals, tells you when you get the information that they are leaving for vacation on the 23rd of March so you are busting butt to get it done. When you call them about a question on the 3rd of March, you get the answering machine -- no big deal...but they return the call from where they are currently vacationing and let you know that they are going to be there until April 1st. So that's a return that's on the back burner for a little bit (about a week or two).

Actionbsns (talk|edits) said:

12 March 2009
My client called me in a panic yesterday, while I was in Honolulu on a medical appointment with my husband, to tell me they just received a letter from IRS about 12 pages long stating they owe $25,000 in additional taxes for 2007. I work closely with this client and we are friendly as well, so her panic became mine. I came in this morning, and trust me nothing else has gotten done and it's nearly 2:00, reviewed the tax letter, and there are stock transaction that I never saw, there's nothing in the file, no discussion, nothing to alert me to this issue. Then a FAX from the broker with the transactions. It will most likely be OK in the end, once my heart stops fibrilating, and I have the chance to review it closely. BTW, the client is expecting a baby momentarily - if that didn't start the baby popping, guess we'll just have to wait a few more days. Now I'm concerned about 2005 and 2006 as well.

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