Discussion:A tribute....

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Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

29 January 2009
Back in the 1980's, (yes, I am that old), came February (I could never pass a May exam, only November) and the CPA exam results would come out. I always called home to see what my results were and Mom would always answer the phone. She would check the mail and let me know what were my results. A few times (I won't mention how many), I met with disappointment, as I wasn't good at taking the test at the time. Finally, my instructor sat me down and showed me the key to success. After he did, the next time was the charm, I called and Mom excitedly told me I had passed two parts and all I had to do next was pass two more.

I hunkered down and soon I had passed the next two. When I called her one day in February of 1987, she opened the envelope, I could hear her burst into tears, and mumbled through them, "Tommy, you passed." I was so excited and relieved. She told me she was so proud of me. It was only the second time. The first was my graduation from college.

Mom died this morning. It's not the way I wanted to begin tax season. She fell ill Christmas Day, collapsing at home, went into a coma. She came out of it, fell back into one, came back out after doctors discovered the source. She needed a new liver, but wasn't eligible for one, due to her age and some other medical complications. They sent her home under hospice care early last week for the final time. She died peacefully surrounded by my Dad and two of my three sisters. My own health issues prevented me from being there with her this morning. But I did visit her often over the last two weeks that she was home. (This explains why you haven't seen me around here a whole lot this January).

When we talk about passion and taxes, there is nothing that changes your perspective more than life itself. As JR1 mentions, this is a job that we get paid for and I could not agree with him more about anything. We should be passionate about other things, like life, family, friends, faith, but not this stuff.

I have asked clients for understanding during this time and many have been very supportive, deciding to ride this situation out with me. It's great to have such a good rapport with clients.

To Mom, thanks for everything.

Your loving son.


JR1 (talk|edits) said:

January 29, 2009
So Sorry for your loss, Tom. *words fail******** I pray that God comforts you and your family during this horrid time. We rejoice in her life.

TaxNerd (talk|edits) said:

29 January 2009
Sorry Tom. Sounds like she lived a long and wonderful life. And one thing I can tell for sure - she has a fine and decent son.

Outwesttax (talk|edits) said:

29 January 2009

Man, this rocketed me back four months to the passing of my father. The world is a different place today than it was before, and I find myself thinking of those same sort of stories often. Last night especially, as I was checking their house while Mom was visiting sisters. Lot of memories in a home, how about this one: Mom and I found the ledgers Dad kept. Looking back to the year I was born, I found it cost $99.71 to bring me home from the hospital.

And some say I'm not worth a plugged nickel.

Another loving son,


Death&Taxes (talk|edits) said:

29 January 2009
What a fortunate son you are, Tom, and you've served her well. Go in peace, Mom.

DZCPA (talk|edits) said:

29 January 2009
Tom, Your Mom was more proud of you than you will ever know. That was a beautiful tribute. David

Kevinh5 (talk|edits) said:

29 January 2009
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am sure that your mother knew how much you loved her.

TexCPA (talk|edits) said:

29 January 2009

My heart felt condolences, I read your tribute, I could / did easily replace your experience with that of my own, taking my CPA exam back in the day and sharing the un-successful attempts with my own mother, I would wait and open the response with her, and just like your mother, my mother would encourage me and say just the right words, 'you will make it, honey, just keep trying, I know you will pass" I lost my mother close to 4 years ago and just like you, right in the middle of tax season,

What a wonderful example of your humanity to openly pay a tribute to your mother, I hope you realize that even tho I don't know you personally, couldn't recognize you if you stood in front of me, I believe you to be a good example of a decent man, one that your mother was truly proud of, and one that your peers on this board greatly respect and admire.

God Bless

TexCPA 12:11, 29 January 2009 (CST)

Rgtaxservice (talk|edits) said:

29 January 2009
Tom, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Actionbsns (talk|edits) said:

29 January 2009
Tom, I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your mom. My thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself.


CrowJD (talk|edits) said:

29 January 2009
My sympathies Tom. Take care of yourself.

Natalie (talk|edits) said:

January 29, 2009
I'm sorry to hear that Tom. I'm fortunate to still have a healthy mother, and you have reminded me to let her know how much she means to me. Thank you for sharing.

Joanmcq (talk|edits) said:

29 January 2009
You have all my sympathies. I lost my mum in 2004 right after tax season...I had just finished my first tax season after spending a year on disability getting treatment for hep C. I was just starting my own biz and had worked part time at the firm which I now work at year round. Was about to leave for vacation in Ireland and I got the call from my sister; my mum was in a coma in the hospital dying of liver failure.

Losing your parents is hard. My mum was a math major and I was math phobic. She kept telling me in high school and college "I hated math too until I got to calculus; take calculus!" I refused. Years later, when back in school after deciding I was going to pursue tax, I had to take calculus, & had to call her and say, "you're right, calculus is fun. Wny didn't you tell me it was just shortcuts to algebra?" I miss 'em both, especially when good things happen and I wish they were there to share it.

Actionbsns (talk|edits) said:

30 January 2009
You're so right Joan. There's not a Saturday morning that goes by that I don't wish I could call my dad. Conversations were never very lengthy and almost always ended with him telling me he had to go because he and his lady friend have coupons and have to get to the grocery store before everything was gone, or because he needed to do laundry. I still call his lady friend periodically just to say hello.

Taocpa (talk|edits) said:

30 January 2009
My thanks to all who have shared your thoughts, prayers and support. It means so much to me. I have had to fight back tears as I read this thread.

This past year and month have been the most challenging. I can't imagine not having made it through all of this without this community.

My heartfelt thanks to all.


Belle (talk|edits) said:

January 30, 2009
Oh Tom, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing your mother is like losing a bit of your DNA.

And the timing!

My mother was very ill five years ago during tax season, but held on until June. She lived 2000 miles away....folks would ask what they could do to help me; I asked if anyone had a lear jet I could borrow to get back/forth more quickly.

Dealing with this right now does put a different perspective on tax season, for you and for all of us. Get those priorities straight! Which you obviously have. You've already seen how supportive your clients have been of you with your health issues, and I'm sure they will continue to be so. Time will make it easier, but give yourself plenty of leeway (and time) to grieve; the pain never goes away (as I have tears in my eyes remembering my mother as I type), but it does lessen. Keep us posted on how you are coping.

Trillium (talk|edits) said:

30 January 2009
Tom, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this loss, on top of everything else. Please do take care of yourself, and I'm glad your clients have been so cooperative. They know that they're still getting top-level knowledge, and obviously they're smart enough - or you trained them well enough - to be patient and stick with you for their long-term benefit. And I enjoyed that great memory of your Mom; thanks for sharing it with us.

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